Different Beginning Points.
I started thinking the other day. Wondering where things went wrong for me. Or seemingly (I happen to believe things are going right). But I started thinking about where I was a a year ago and then where I’m at now. Not counting marriage, which is enough to change any man for the better, but everything else . . . my life a year ago was drastically different than my life today.
Last year I was sitting in front of a desk in the office of a megachurch designing and making copies. Today I’m sitting on my front porch, freelance designing, reading Desmond Tutu, drinking a Red Stripe and writing a blog. Last year at this time I was stressed, burnt out, tired, angry, frustrated, poor. Today I am relaxed, hopeful, full of life, generous, and . . . I’m still poor. But everything else is different.
My ecclesiology (views on the church), my missiology (views on action), my theology (views on God), my eschatology (views on heaven, hell, and all things future), and add one that is not an “ology” . . . my politics. They’ve all changed. Obviously these changes have been happening for more than a year (more like 4 or 5).
So what happened? What changed? How did I get here?
I think it all started when I began to move away from a faith that was centered on the individual. When I began to realize there was a difference between a “me” gospel and a “us/they” gospel.
My faith was always about me. Sermons told me this. I needed to have a better marriage. I needed to have better finances. I needed to have better relationships. I needed to be happy. I needed to be saved from my sin. I needed to get to heaven. I needed to avoid hell.This version is really individualistic and is only concerned about personal issues.
Racial issues didn’t matter. Political issues didn’t matter. Social issues didn’t matter. Poverty didn’t matter. Mexican immigrants didn’t matter. Palestinians didn’t matter.
I mattered. If I was in a good mood, my family mattered. And if I was in a great mood, my immediate friends mattered. Everything else and everybody else was nothing more than backdrop to the world I was immersed in.
But I remember it clearly . . . the shift. As if this change had been slowly drifting but then all of a sudden, it jerked and accelerated and I got it.
I was speaking to high school students. Maybe 60 or so. I was sharing about how the world is much bigger than we are. How God’s story is much bigger than our vantage point on it. I shared. I talked. And then I was done.
Afterwards, I started thinking. A couple of weeks ago these same students had all isolated themselves from a friend who was rumored to be struggling with homosexuality. It didn’t matter if it was true or not. I then listened to them make racist comments about Mexicans and African-Americans.
These were good kids. I miss them a lot. I think about them a lot. I pray for them a lot. But 90% of them were just moral. The 10% who real and auhentic, I’m still friends with today.
But the moral ones . . . they didn’t cuss. They didn’t drink. They didn’t have sex. They hung out with each other. They were irrelevant to anyone who wasn’t a Christian.
And this was after I poured my lives into them. After I told them how Jesus subverts their traditional understandings of faith and culture. And I know change doesn’t happen over night. But I spent 2 plus years. And everything looked and felt the same as the day I began.
Maybe I’m immature. Maybe I should be more patient. But the system perpetuated and bred the same results as they had always been. It’s not even their faults. It’s the adults around them that exalted morality higher than ethics. Belief higher than action. Right thinking higher than right living.
Faith isn’t about morality.
Faith based on morality never works. Faith affects our relations to others. Faith affects our politics. And when they affect our relations to others and our politics in an adverse way, you know you have a bad faith.

Therefore, you can’t have faith and be a racist. You can’t even joke about it.
Therefore, you can’t have faith and not realign your money. Even if you think God wants to bless you. It’s a cop out.
Therefore, you can’t have faith and not refocus your time on things that matter. Even if it’s entertaining.
Therefore, you can’t have faith and not change your priorities. Even if you think 5 hours of tv a night is more important than getting involved and informed with social issues like sweat shop labor, racial genocide, poverty, or clean water. Not to mention the lives of your kids and spouse.
Therefore, you can’t have faith and have a church that spends more money on a building fund, utility bills, and salaries, than you do on the community. You can’t justify it either because that’s what “seekers” like. Or what their “felt needs” want.
Therefore, you can’t have faith and have a politic centered around violence, power, explotation, and corruption. Then you’re like the Romans instead of like Jesus.
Therefore, you can’t have faith and spend more time around “christians” and in a church than you do in the community. But think that talking about the Da Vinci code makes you cool at the office and “relational”.
Therefore, you can’t have faith and be an ass. Period.
Therefore, you can’t have faith and be a pastor and do it because it’s “your job”. There’s more to ministry than an abstract “calling”.
Therefore, you can’t have faith and think more about yourself than others.
Therefore, you can’t have faith and think that individual salvation is the only point.
Therefore, you can’t have faith centered on morality.
Two different beginning points. I didn’t like the first one. So I tried the second one. And today I’m in a more hopeful place than I was a year ago.

Ken Haynes
Tuesday, 9. May 2006 um 8:08 pm Uhr
Appreciate the post. Seems like the definition of a disciple would be one who is seeking faith to inform every facet of life…but hard to do in a “me” centered gospel.
tabitha jane
Tuesday, 9. May 2006 um 10:34 pm Uhr
say goodbye to the self-help book style faith and say hello to serving others jesus-style!
james
Tuesday, 9. May 2006 um 10:53 pm Uhr
very well spoken Josh. I think there are a number of us in these parts who can share in your experience. Though perhaps we couldn’t have expressed it as well as you have here. Thank you for sharing it.
greg
Wednesday, 10. May 2006 um 1:28 pm Uhr
Sounds like we have more in common than the Who . . . though Won’t Get Fooled Again might fit very well with this post.
Great stuff . . . sounds like the sermon on the mount, but then no one reeally believes he meant it.
peace.
betsy
Thursday, 11. May 2006 um 12:18 am Uhr
“Faith isn’t about morality.”
Having been a teen in just such a youth group and now being the mother of teens, I can only say AMEN. As much as I want my kids to be moral, I would rather have immoral kids searching for real answers that moral idiots who already have all the answers.
This is not a popular parenting position. Especially among the strongly moral.
Thanks for the reality check.
Matt
Thursday, 11. May 2006 um 8:18 pm Uhr
“It’s the adults around them that exalted morality higher than ethics. Belief higher than action. Right thinking higher than right living.” You think as adults we just teach morality? We teach students about being apart of something larger than themselves. About serving and putting others first! Students may not get these concepts overnight. Did you get these concepts when you were 16? I believe in the “system” if you want to label it that. I believe that there are students who are getting it, whose lives are being changed. I believe that the leaders of many “mega churches” love God and are making a difference in this world and are not consumed with the Da Vinci code. I encourage you instead of speaking for these leaders, meet with them and truly hear from there hearts about how they feel about poverty, Racial issues, homosexuality, genocide. Churches cost money, you spend more money on your home, cars and utility bills than you do giving money to starving children. Is the church perfect…no, your view of it isn’t and neither is mine. But instead of bashing it all the time why don’t you just move on and do your thing, the way you feel God is calling you. I just don’t think that Christ would spend his time creating division among his people. I love you dude and we are boys but I think you are off base.
april
Friday, 12. May 2006 um 1:59 pm Uhr
I love you, Josh Brown. And I appreciate the gift of prose with which you have been entrusted. With a smile, may I point out that by the creation of your intriguing, inspiring and lengthy blogs about your own earth journey, you seem to contradict your battle cry that life is not about self? I mean, many of us spend lots of our time reading about YOU! So, is it better to blog about ME, or read a blog about others?????? Again, much love to the Brown’s. And I whole-heartedly believe that you matter. The brochure you did on it looked great.
Josh
Friday, 12. May 2006 um 3:44 pm Uhr
matt,
i sent you an email. call me if you want to talk more.
april,
I didn’t really understand what you were saying about the “whole self” talk. I obviously talk a lot about how it’s not about us. And it’s about something bigger. But I’m not sure how my blog contradicts that statement simply because people read it to find out about me. If a pastor is giving a sermon and talking about how it’s not about us, but gives personal examples or illustrations to this, he is simply using the examples as a point. Or in my case, talking about the struggle between two opposing worlds.
Paul certainly took this method. He pointed to Christ and made declarative statements of his Lordship, which was quite subversive and controversial to not only the Jews but the Romans as well, who believed that Caesar was Lord. And here is Paul declaring that Caesar is not Lord by proclaiming Christ as Lord. He is telling the Jews and Romans that it is not about them or their politics, social networks, or agendas. It’s about Christ. He is Lord. Yet he gave personal examples of his struggle with this claim and call. Consequently millions of people read and study Paul today. Most of our New Testament theology is made up of one man’s writings. And we care deeply about the thoughts and works of the “individual” even when the individual was making statements about community and God.
You could also make a point that the prophets were making their “large” claims yet while still holding on to their individuality. And many of David’s Psalms are nothing more than his diary. Which in the simplest sense is what a blog is.
All that to say is that its both/and. Not either/or.
I hope that clarifies what I attempt to do when I write.
april
Saturday, 13. May 2006 um 11:04 am Uhr
From the dictionary of things I’ve learned so far…
Diary: that little book under lock and key where I express my deepest feelings without reserve and believe that no one will ever read these thoughts unless I die an untimely death or have a mean-spirited sibling.
Blog: completely public tool useful to influence thinking worldwide, particularly when used by a Christian charged with certain principles of speaking and relating to others, and more particulary when a used by a Christian with an intense passion to influence others for Christ, and even more particularly when used by a Christian who is compelled to lead others as a Pastor in the immediate future.
Dinner is better here at Georgia Grace’s castle. Totally toddler friendly, and she’s in the bed by 7:30.
josh
Monday, 15. May 2006 um 6:35 pm Uhr
I’ve never discounted the influence of a blog. I was just pointing out that you said I always talk about how its not about us, but that my blog somehow contradicted that because its individualistic at its essence.
And my question would be what are the “certain principles of speaking and relating to others”? At what point or points have I violated these “principles”? If speaking the truth violates these principles or just saying them out loud when everyone else says them behind closed doors or in whispers . . . or if walking through my personal journey (which is also a communal one) with friends and family is against these principles, then it sort of backs me into a corner about what I can write about. Only things that sound good or don’t rub people the wrong away or things that aren’t controversial. Some would call that propaganda. And most totaltarian regimes employ this method.
I’m not trying to split hairs. I just don’t see how me talking about my faith and giving a personal example of when something clicked for me is a bad thing. If it led me to repentance. If it is true. And if it is painting a picture of a better or more hopeful way, then I’m not sure how that is a bad thing.
april
Tuesday, 16. May 2006 um 11:06 am Uhr
More careful observation would show that I did not say that you violated any principles of speaking. Though now I think you are unduly defensive. Come now, Bible scholar far beyond my learning, you need not ask me which principles are clearly defined for us. Surely we would be wrong to think that we could say whatever we wanted whenever we wanted and still glorify God? I’m thinking of things like: I Pe 3:10, Jms 1:26, Col 3:17, Eph 4:29
Eric
Tuesday, 16. May 2006 um 11:59 am Uhr
I want a pony.
Actually, wait asecond, I live on a flippin’ horse farm… a horse farm that has two ponies stabled at it! wooo ponies!
he was fragged for our sins » Ponies, ponies, ponies.
Wednesday, 31. May 2006 um 7:48 am Uhr
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