The Art of Slow Living (or a critique and reaction to consumeristic culture, further known as my attempt to subvert the rat race, also known as my exploration of biodiesel as a viable fuel option) or Simply Put, The Deconstruction of Me.
I want to live slower.
In a time and place where the young elite (and the middle-aged elite and the not so young-elite but just plain young, and for that matter the plain middle-agers . . . and even some older people . . . and kids . . . and . . . well it’s just about everybody in the West) are having to move faster and faster to keep up, I’ve decided I want to live slower.
Work and progress and money and speed have in a weird way all become values to this culture. And if you’re slow and can’t keep up, you either get left behind or run over. It’s as if there is this magical carrot out in front of our faces pulling us along. Whipping us up into a frenzy. Causing us to take the first steps in a rabid chase that doesn’t end until the finish line.
Where is the finish line? What is the finish line? Why do I want to get to the finish line?
Our parents referred to it as keeping up with the Jones. I think we can safely refer to our chase as keeping up with acceptance. Where, and let’s be honest, things like salary, cars, occupation, appearance of ourselves, appearance of our spouse, date, or significant other, appearance of our kids . . . all become status symbols. Points of reference that we use to get acceptance.
Why else would we want a massive house? A loaded car? Pretty kids? Hundred dollar shoes and $200 outfits?
Oh yeah . . . I forgot. They have a label on them that make them cooler than the ones without the label. Plus, the paint is shiny and the house has a fountain. Who wouldn’t want that right?
But why do we want? Why do we desire these things?
Let me get this out of the way. I don’t think there is necessarily anything wrong with having nice things. I could ask the question of why it wouldn’t be ok to have just average things instead of nice, but I’ll leave that question for later because I’m already getting sidetracked.
But if you want nice things, your lifestyle is going to have to reflect it. If you want a nice car and a nice house and a nice pension . . .
Then you’re going to have to work 70+ hours a week.
You’re also going to need to miss your son’s baseball game and your daughter’s recital.
If by some chance, you do make it to your kid’s game and recital, you’re still going to have to try and be sort of detached when you get home from work because you’ll be tired and you’ll need your space.
You’re also going to have to keep your friendships pretty superficial. You can’t have them getting to close to you or to involved in your life. So you’ll just have to sit around and talk about football and drink beer or for women just shop and gossip (gross stereotypes I know). But you have to keep it superficial, above the surface.
You will also need to ignore your wife because your needs will be more important than hers. Which will probably be ok because she’ll be flirting with her trainer and you’ll be flirting with your remote in a hotel room or a co-worker (depending on the day, location, and humidity).
As well, you will need to start eating fast food and going out to dinner and eating on the run, which of course will keep you from spending even more time with your kids and wife in meaningful conversation. But will of course even itself out with your buying of gifts for the wife and your lack of discipline towards your kids all because you feel guilty about what a bad husband and parent you’ve been.
Further still, you will need to get a couple of credit cards. At least 2, up to 10. And you will need to charge things like vacations to 5 star resorts and new outfits and home entertainment systems and other assorted things that will make you feel truly and deeply content.
Meanwhile, people in India, the Sudan, Chad, Ecuador, in our own backyard for that matter, get by on less than a dollar a day. A monthly car payment on a Mercedes could feed a family of four in India (a non-third world country mind you) for over 6 months.
And you’ll need to get a pony for your daughter (that’s for Eric).
So you could definitely see how it’s worth it to climb the corporate ladder and to make lots of that green paper.
I’m not trying to be pompous by the obvious ridicule of the above lifestyle. I’m trying to point to the absurdity of it.
But I have a better idea. And it’s really simple. It’s what Anna and I are trying to do. And that is to live simply and to live on our terms. For to long, we’ve lived on other people’s terms. On our culture’s terms. On MTV’s terms. On our magazines terms. On the storefront window’s terms.
But not on our terms. Thankfully, that is beginning to change.
We’re learning how to live slower.
To live with 1 car instead of 2. To do our jobs because we’re passionate about them and not because it’s our “calling” or because we have too.
We’re learning how to slow down and eat dinner together. To have friends sit at our table and break bread with us. To sit in our living room and recline with us. We’re trying to learn how to chew softer, sip slower, and listen longer.
We’re learning how to stand in our front yard and have a conversation with our neighbors. We’re learning how to water our grass and fill the bird feeder with seed.
We’re learning how to turn off the tv and how to pick up a book. To read next to each other in bed with both of our bedside lamps glowing.
We’re learning how to be a husband and how to be a wife. And how to be best friends.
We’re learning how to live deeply with our family. Sharing our dreams, fears, and lives with them on a regular basis.
We’re learning how to love, pray, think, and practice.
We’re learning how to give and be connected to something outside of our suburban context.
We’re learning how to paint cabinets with Kristen & Craig, how to cook steaks with Eric & Heather, how to shape church with The D10′s, how to laugh with Nick & Leslie, how to be our own boss with Jeremy & Shana, how to have a generous spirit with Tad & Kimberly, how to grow up alongside Ashley & Kelly, how to enjoy a good show and pint with Seth, and how to navigate girlfriends and xBox’s with David & Jake.
We’re exploring and sharing and encouraging friends outside of our local community. We are moving further out and in with Sharon, The Tank’s, Dr. James, Tabitha Jane, Jamie, Mike, Trevor, and James.
We’re learning how to breathe slower, feeling our chest rise and fall.
We’re learning how to blink slower, noticing the colors in the sky, on the trees, in the waves.
We’re learning how to listen slower, keeping our ears tuned for bears that will come and take us in the night from our open air tent under a full moon.
We’re learning how to touch slower, feeling the textures and character of things around us.
We’re learning how to live life. Life is not just happening to us. We are moving with it. We are creating alongside it. We are moving to its rhythms and creating a few of our own instead of being pulled along.
We are succeeding and failing and everything in between. Oftentimes doing both simultaneously.
We are learning the art of slow living.
And we can’t do that living in massive houses and driving expensive cars. The quality of your life is directly connected to what you’re responsible for.
So if you’re responsible for a huge mortgage and bloated car payments, the direction and quality of your life will reflect your responsibility to those things.
I just don’t really want the direction and quality of my life to look like what it was beginning to look like anymore.
I say all of this as someone with a pair of $100 shoes, a fancy computer, and an appreciation and love of my wife’s beauty. Not as the pious, pretentious snob that I am.
Technorati Tags: Consumerism, American Dream, Slow Living
Anna
Tuesday, 27. June 2006 um 1:02 pm Uhr
I love you. And I love our new, slow life. And, amen to “We are succeeding and failing and everything in between. Oftentimes doing both simultaneously.” Thanks for your grace.
tank
Tuesday, 27. June 2006 um 1:16 pm Uhr
Dang, this is long. I will read it and comment later.
Josh
Tuesday, 27. June 2006 um 1:43 pm Uhr
look. if i link to you. you can’t complain about the length. that’s all there is to it.
seth
Tuesday, 27. June 2006 um 2:01 pm Uhr
didn’t you know that josh wants you to read things slow too? i wanted you to write “how to learn to be super spiritual holy with Seth”. but alas, if i can’t be super spiritual, at least i can drink a pint. (or two)
Kristen
Tuesday, 27. June 2006 um 2:21 pm Uhr
wow josh, what a good post. and so true.
mike
Tuesday, 27. June 2006 um 9:45 pm Uhr
brother, for your journey towards simplicity, may i recomend Wendell Berry. Start with The Art of the Common Place.
i think you will find that his thoughts on the agrarian life (don’t be frightened – it ain’t really about farming) will resonate with your thoughts.
tank
Wednesday, 28. June 2006 um 10:08 am Uhr
Well, I didn’t know you linked to me until I read it (Thanks for the link and the love). This is a great post and reflects many of the same ideas that I have floating in my head.
welcome to the story
Wednesday, 28. June 2006 um 12:13 pm Uhr
[...] With our podcast with Tony Jones coming shortly, and my quasi-deep post on The Art of Slow Living earlier in the week, I thought I’d keep things on the lighter side. Thus, my unveiling of my comic book checkered past with the Spider-Man post. And today, I present to you more superfluous fluff by recommending to you my favorite movie and asking you what yours is? [...]
James Kingsley
Wednesday, 28. June 2006 um 2:04 pm Uhr
amen. its all about the bbq, the table, the breaking of bread. “chew softer, sip slower, and listen longer” – that’s golden.
we’ve got a bumper crop of strawberries this year in victoria and they taste as good as “local, fresh and handpicked” alawys tastes (which is, by the way, absolutely fantastic). I mention this because more than half the taste comes from how you eat them. to get the full taste you have to pick them yourself (or get your wife to pick them for you – thanks hil), and then eat them only one at a time. and you kinda have to squish them more than you bite them for the full flavour to be properly released. i can only imagine how good they taste to the farmer’s who planted the original plants…
go well my friend. and go slow.
Ashley Brannen
Monday, 3. July 2006 um 1:31 am Uhr
This was one of your posts that made me smile,nod my head, cry and say I love anna and josh. Hawaii was absolutely amazing- y’all need to go. Definitely a slow lifestyle there! If you feel the urge to drive up to Myrtle Beach I’ll be waiting!
welcome to the story
Wednesday, 5. July 2006 um 11:30 pm Uhr
[...] This is a continuation and a development to a certain extent of my previous post on “The Art of Slow Living“. [...]
tabitha jane
Thursday, 6. July 2006 um 4:05 pm Uhr
living life on my terms. that’s why i am looking for a new job. i am tired of playing this game.
welcome to the story
Sunday, 9. July 2006 um 11:21 pm Uhr
[...] So you can expect to see the frequency of our Cooking Blog increase. This is not so much a weight loss thing (although getting rid of the “You’re starting to look like your dad” comments will be an added bonus) as it will be about us getting rid of stuff that for the most part is not good for us. And to try and continue to develop the discipline of slow living. 11 Comments so far Leave a comment [...]
welcome to the story
Tuesday, 1. August 2006 um 1:56 pm Uhr
[...] We’ve had some good conversations: on homosexuality, on the suburbs, on slow living, and on house church, to name a few. And this has all been in the last 5 months! [...]