I have just read all the exodus posts. and I watched that awful youtube video. and my heart weeps. I guess I am right there with my husband, mourning that my brothers and sisters in Christ are being treated the way they are – and by our fellow brothers and sisters – other people who also bear the name of Christ. I mourn for the way the name of Christ is being trashed by those who say they bear it.

My problem is, and has always been, how do I REALLY live the way God wants me to? What does that mean fleshed out? I mean, on a real, feel it in my soul, this is reality and not something I’m dreaming up, kind of way?

Well, the small piece I have discovered so far is that it is all about relationships. Now, I’ve been told this a lot before. But the part I’ve discovered is that God is faithful to reveal Himself in many relationships. He is also loving, and blesses you with the ability to have quite a few close relationships. He teaches me things about Himself through these relationships. Not all of these relationships are with other Christians. He teaches me about His unconditional love for me “while I was yet a sinner” through conversations with people who are not yet Christians. I am challenged to know Him more, so that I can answer their questions and wonderings, so that I can share my experiences with my Lord with those that wonder.

My God speaks to me in so many different ways through the different people I communicate with throughout the week, especially at house church. I am reminded that not everyone has the same gifts that I have, and I need theirs, and they need mine. God gave them to us to be used. I did not use my gifts or encourage others to use theirs at traditional churches. There wasn’t much time between Sunday School and the service. I have learned so much real, practical, put it to use immediately kind of stuff over this summer, it has been amazing.

I want to go on and on about what I’ve found, which is what Eric’s point was, I guess, that we didn’t really walk away so much as walk into something new that we’ve fallen in love with. I did feel very underappreciated at the traditional church. I felt as though we were 2 of a very small # that had a heart for anybody but ourselves. I mean, I even understand that doing things like children’s or youth ministries are giving of yourself, but it’s not the same thing. I’ve done both of those, and I’ve taught ESL classes. One is giving to those who really already have, and the other is giving to those in need, those that may not see Christ in any other way.

Put simply, I felt like a complete hypocrite when I walked through the doors of the church – saw the preparation for “spontanious” singing, went through the motions not really feeling God at all. The only other time I felt like such a huge hypocrite was when I rebelled as a Christian.

did you pay your wife to comment on your post? j/k!

i really enjoy your perspective of not walking away entirely but finding alternative forms and shapes. thanks leet eric!

That was good, Eric. I almost cried, right here in my little cubicle!!!
I share your sentiments. When we felt a move away from our traditional church, we were able to leave without incident or broken relationships, and we were able to move toward another expression of church. Reading all of these experiences, I am realizing that our experience was less painful than most. It saddens me deeply that our friends had to go through so much heartache!

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