Failure and Experimentation in a Culture of Success.

I’ve been thinking about experimentation lately. How (un)natural it feels. Most of it has to do with our experiment at communal living, among other things. Most of the things that Anna and I are trying and thinking about are really outside the box for most people. And understandably so. Our culture is somewhat built on certain ideas of what is deemed to be normal. Things that don’t fit into that framework of normal are often unsettling to most. Or frowned upon. Or dismissed as eccentric or impractical on a larger scale.

Perhaps so.

I was playing a video game today and as is typical for me, I got dominated rather quickly. As time ran out and my game ended, the words “FAILED” in big, bold red letters started flashing on the screen. There was something in me that recoiled when I saw that word. Something that made me mad, frustrated, disappointed, and inferior. I wonder how much the culture around me has ingrained in me these ideas of what is considered “SUCCESSFUL” and what is considered “FAILURE”.

I fear that I’ve been shaped far too much by these cultural expectations and have become rather timid at times with experimentation in life . . . thinking . . . practice.

For the most part, experimentation is frowned upon. People don’t like changing recipes around. They like what works. What fits. What is pragmatic. What is safe. I think I (we) have become so scared of failure that we’re scared to try new things.

So part of this new year for me is going to be about experimenting more. Picking up a wineskin for a bit, testing it’s usefulness, seeing if it will hold the wine. If it does . . . great. If it doesn’t . . . great. I’m going to attempt to learn to be more at peace with failure. Realizing that it is but a step towards a better kind of “success”.

Andrew Jones has made some good points before about how we should all be experimenters . . . experimenting with different forms and practices and expressions of community. The worst case scenario is that we fail. Perhaps get mildly burned. The negative side isn’t that bad. But the upside is huge. With experimenting, you’re always on the verge of a revolutionary discovery.

This means that I have to hold things more loosely. And be willing to lay down things that are struggling to sustain themselves in an effort to discover truer ways of living, moving, and being.

So we’re experimenting with communal living. It may fail. It may get messy. We may get hurt. We may do the hurting. It may blow up in our face. But it may not. And we personally feel that it’s an experiment worth trying.

To me that’s a better way of living. Adventurous as opposed to safe. Curious as opposed to timid. A “failure” as opposed to a “success”.

We are but fools amongst mens. Subverting the empire of success with old views on finances, relationships, politics, and spirituality.

We are but ambitious, adventurous fools.