I’m Back

Not consuming anything for a week was both the hardest and easiest thing I’ve ever done. To be fair, I did consume stuff. But I didn’t buy anything until yesterday. I only listened to music once with Anna while I was helping her make some invitations. I didn’t download anything. I didn’t download anything. I didn’t check any blogs. Or blog myself (except for having to break it when finding out that one of my new friends was getting questioned). Didn’t watch any television or movies. I didn’t watch the news or sports. I’m just now finding out that they are doing a Harry Potter Theme Park which I will be at when it opens. I had to find out the old fashioned way what was going on in the NBA playoffs by talking to a total stranger at the dentist’s office.

I did break down Thursday night and play some xBox (more on an epiphany that came out of that later).

It’s strange how normal it felt and how free I felt all week. It’s also strange how awkward I felt and disconnected. It’s weird to feel very rooted and yet disconnected. And relaxed and engaged with my self and others despite being what felt like my own “little world”.

I read 2 and a half books. And I even had time to wine and dine Anna (although she might disagree with my interpretation of what constitutes wining and dining).

I guess in everything I learned a couple of things.

1) I’m really detached from most of the “real world”. And the only thing that gives me/us any semblance of connecting/belonging is by being involved in entertainment and consumption. We relate to other people by whether or not they are entertained by the things that entertain us or because they consume the same type of things that we consume.  I like young, hip, twenty somethings who are tech-savvy, enjoy dry satire, and a good brew. In many ways I’m anti-consumer. Anti-Microsoft. Anti-cheap beer. Anti-American Idol. But in my “anti-consumption” I’m still a consumer and am defined by what entertains me and what I buy. Apple. Belgian beer. Curb Your Enthusiasm. I’m still a consumer and defined by that consumption. I’m just a bit more arrogant about it.

2) I have some serious questions to wrestle with in regards to my business. The implications being at what point do I draw a line between what I do and what I believe. By nature, 99% of my work is marketing. In most cases I have clients who come to me with a not-so-good idea. And they pay me to make it pretty and more marketable so that they can sell it to their audience. Which effectively means that in most cases (not all) I’m really not much different than marketing executives for Nike or Coca-Cola. Selling products (whether I believe in their usefulness or not) for money. This is starting to bother me more and more. And I’m not sure what to do with it.

3) I’m realizing that the lifestyle I’m beginning to fall into is a bit tricky. Dangerous even. All year I’ve been thinking about the prophets and Jesus and their role in their cultures. As I begin to practice this ideas, I’m finding myself torn . . . or rather . . . caught in the middle of a variety of things. My past. My tradition. My country. My wallet. My values. For every point, there seems to be a counter-point. For every good thing, there seems to be something a bit more shady. Last year I was awakened out of my slumber and my apathy. Earlier this year I started the move from apathy towards cynicism. And while I’m still in this stage, I’m beginning to see the need to move from cynicism towards construction. My struggle is that for most people still stuck in a slumber, my construction still looks like cynicism because it’s not what the masses do or think. So now I have to walk a tight rope with not coming off like a cocky ass. Which I don’t feel like but I’m sure I look like. I’m also realizing that all of the prophets probably seemed like real large asses in their day. And that I’m afraid my/our life is always going to take the shape and trajectory of a couple whose lives challenge and critique others. I have been in deep thought about how we can live by our convictions, challenge others to change or at least give pause to their lives, and at the same time not come off as pompous.

So that was my week without “junk”. A nicer word maybe being “filler”.